I'm Bringing Basketball Jones Back...

Reasons Why I'm super-excited:
~My visit to Lawrence, Kansas this weekend!!!!!! KU vs. UT basketball game :-) Beak 'Em Hawks!!!!
~Alex visiting for Spring Break!!!
~Alex and I going to Dallas Mavericks vs. New Jersey Nets Tuesday night!!!! Upper level front row!!
~Spring Break in New York City!!!! With Kristin...AND MK!!!
~Daniel and I going to Mavs Weekend in April (also known as the last 2 home games of the regular season)!!!!

In other words, I am beyond excited!! After tomorow (my Art History mid-term), life is going to be bitchin'. But not for all of us...

A girl on our floor is going through a really difficult break-up right now. It is so sad. But he's like 2 years older than her and he's all the way back in Tennessee, so I think the distance is just getting to him. It's like break-up season right now. It's that time a couple of weeks after Valentine's day (because nobody wants to break up around Valentine's Day) and right before spring (when everyone seems to be really horny...because it's spring).

My question for the day: how important is distance in a relationship? I mean, being far away from the one you love has to be hard, but you don't want to be too close to each other either. You both need your own space. You know why office romances fail most of the time? Because you see that person all the time. You turn around at work: they're there. You go home: they're there. THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE!! But you don't want to be too far apart either. I mean, do you want to spend 4 years seeing each other one week a month or so? And it only gets harder as you go, especially in college because there are so many temptations (except at an all-girls school...unless you are secretly a lesbian...or a boy).

This is why it has to be hard to be a pro-ball player, especially in this age. This is not the NBA of the 1970's. Athlete's are considered immense celebrities now. They hang out with actors and musicians, hardly ever "normal people". Not even the hot girls that hit on them in bars and clubs. These vultures are not "normal". For one, they are incredibly attractive. Two, a lot of them do not care if the athlete is married or dating someone, they just want to be able to say that they slept with a pro-athlete. But why? Why sleep with a pro-athlete? So you can put it on your resume? It doesn't matter if it's a pro-athlete or a regular Joe off the street: doesn't matter who you sleep with, YOU'RE STILL A SLUT. Sure, a pro-athlete found you attractive (or drunk) enough to want to have sex with you. But IT WAS ONLY SEX. He used you for sex and will probably never call you because he doesn't want to get to know you. Men do not get lonely for an emotional bond like women do; men just need to get laid. This is why you never hear about female pro-athletes sleeping with men on the road: because they don't. Like every other woman on this planet, they need an emotional connection. Men, on the other hand, need a physical one. That's how "female companion services" stay in buisness: men needing sex. But the girls in the bars want to talk and cuddle afterwards and say things like, "Call me". Call-girls know it's just about the sex, and nothing more.

But what about the pro-athletes with the wives and the girlfriends? Why is it so hard for some of them to stay faithful to their prior commitments? A lot of it can be contributed to ego. Because one slutty girl in the bar wants to blow them, they automatically thing that this girl is a representation of the entire female population, meaning that every woman wants to blow them. And most of them do. Most women want the satisfaction of knowing that a man that could have any girl that he wanted chose to let her blow them, making the woman feel desired both on a physical, and emotional, level. And that is where the male and female wires get crossed. MEN WANT SEX. WOMEN WANT EMOTIONS.

So what about the women back at home? Why can't these pro-athletes just wait until they get home to get sex? Even better, why not just jerk off? That's what porn is for!! Hello!! Again, it's the ego. It's the satisfaction they get from knowing that every man wants to be them and every woman wants to get with them. It's one big cycle of miscommunication.

I'm not trying to sit on my high horse and criticise others. Honestly, I'm only human: I might do the same thing. If a average Joe with average looks and an average life offered to buy me a drink in a bar, I would take it (because there are sober kids in Asia and who am I to deny free liquor), but I wouldn't really think about going home with the guy (unless I was really liquored up and all alone and really really really desparate...and had a roofy or two). But if a well-known pro-athlete came up to me and started talking to me, I would really consider hooking up with him...and personally, I think that's retarted. I hate that I would do that because it is just rewarding a guy for being ridiculously good at his job, and nothing more. There are a lot of really good accountants, but you don't see women lining up to sleep with them...Because they do not have the fame factor.

IN CONCLUSION: It's all about the fame. There is no such thing as bad press. If people know who you are, chances are there are a lot of women who want to sleep with you. Think about all those guys on death row with women writing them love letters. They are being rewarded for being famous...and not in a good way. And it isn't fair, but let's face it: LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

I'm Bringing Millard Back...

As promised, I will now continue my Luv Luv Luv List:

~Dirk Nowitzki- I know I already had him, but I just thought I would reiterate that. MVP 2007!!

~My parents- for finally being supportive of what I want to do, which might be easier now because I don't want to major in music.

~People who read my blog- because there are only like 3 of you...and ya'll are all awesome.

~Bill Simmons- He's not always my favorite person, but he did write a great (but long and boring to all people who don't really understand basketball) essay about the State of the NBA. ESPN.com...go find it right now.

~Alex Millard- I've known her forever, and I think she's pretty damn amazing. And when she's a writer/editor for some magazine, I will get to meet all the hot celebrities she interviews/meets, and she will give me swag...lots and lots of swag.

Which brings me to my topic for the day: I think I finally figured out what I want to do: I'm going to double major in sports managment and journalism in hopes of getting a job in the media or p.r. department or the front office of some pro-sports team, or be a sports broadcaster, or a sports reporter. Are we getting the picture?

Of course, I would rather be a professional puppy-hugger.

I'm Bringing manly Back...

Whilst talking to Alex online, I had an epiphany: I'm a metrosexual...except a woman.

Let me explain: A metrosexual is: "an urbane man who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a substantial amount of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle." So, a metro is pretty much a gay-straight man (not to be confused with a straight-gay man). So pretty much, a metro is a man who is so comfortable in his sexuality that he can do things that have been defined by society as "girly" and not fear being labeled as gay.

I am different: I am a straight woman who loves "manly" things: sports, sports, and sports. I kind of live for sports nowadays, living from Mavs game to Mavs game, listening to Randy Galloway podcasts, etc. But it goes further than my love for sports: I have finally mellowed out. I think I have finally expelled all of my neuroses about men from my brain. I have successfully managed to attain a level of not caring what other people think and not overthinking things. I am at peace...

But even though I have taken on some kind of "manly" qualities, I have still maintained some girly ones: manis and pedis, shopping, fashion magazines.

The evidence of my change:

1. This past weekend, I bought the following at Barnes and Noble: W, Vogue, Cosmo, Self, Interview, Slam (basketball magazine with a killer interview with Charles Barkley), and the Red Auerbach and Phil Jackson books.

2. There was just a naked guy randomly in my hall, and I didn't care...that does not make me a lesbian, that just means that I didn't freak out like a pre-teen girl.

3. I frequently go to meals alone (that isn't really evidence of being a man, it's just evidence that I am content being alone...with my Interview and my Slam).

4. I told my mother to pound it...my MOTHER.

As you can see from the evidence presented, I am a mantrosexual. I look like a completely normal girl (and a very well-dressed one) on the outside, but on the inside, I am part man. But I am not gay....gew. That part of me is all girl. It also doesn't mean that I don't wanna girl talk. I love girl talk, I just am not the subject of the girl-talk as much anymore, since one of the perks of being mantrosexual is to have as little drama as possible occur around you. It also doesn't mean I'm going to let myself go; I still wear makeup, and really cute outfits. Like tomorow, I'm going to wear my gap wide-leg jean, a blue and white-stirped shirt and a yellow cartigan sweater...too cute!!

I'm Bringing Dwayne Wade Back...

OK, It's been too long. I have to blog about basketball. I was trying to stick to the girly, Carrie Bradshaw-esque stuff, but I have to go "manly-girl" on ya'll.

I've decided to create a new club...but I am not a member. It's actually a cell of a club created by Randy Galloway, my new personal hero. He said "pimp-slap" the other day...he is a 50-something white Texan. It's called the "Sit-Down and Shut-Up" Club, and I am nominating these individuals for membership:

~ Mark Cuban- So he is already a member. In fact, he's the president. Don't get me wrong, he's entertaining, and he has done a lot for the Mavericks. But sometimes Mark, you just need to sit down and shut up. C'Mon, he went on Leno after the Mavs got beat for the first time in the finals series and was acting as if the Mavs already had the title in the bag. Even though everyone was kinda thinking the same thing, it was a little too cocky. But let's face it, all Mavs fans hate to love him.

~ Dwyane Wade- Ya, all Mavs fans hate you. It's not all because you lead the Miami Heat to a Championship, it's because you went and insulted our Dirk Nowitzki...and you do not say anything negative about Dirk:

''At the end of the day,'' Wade said, ``you're remembered for what you did at the end. . . . I think that's the reason -- Dirk says they gave us the championship last year, but he's the reason they lost the championship, because he wasn't the leader that he's supposed to be in the closing moments. That's because of great defense by us, but also he wasn't assertive enough as a leader's supposed to be.'

ohhhh Dwyane, oh no you didn't!!! So now, I really don't feel that bad about your shoulder. Sure, you did dislocate it, but why would you need a wheel chair to take you back to the locker room...for a shoulder injury??



In the words of Justin Timberlake: "What goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back around....yeah"

~Pat Riley- C'Mon, he looks like Senator Palpatine from Star Wars...'nuff said.

~David Stern- Commissioner of the NBA, who fined Mark Cuban $250,000 for his conduct during game 5 of the 2006 NBA finals in an attempt to get him to sit down and shut up. Even though he had the right intentions, he was stupid enough to try to get Mark Cuban to sit down and shut up...so he's just in this group for being stupid...and for really fucking up the NBA.

~Bennett Salvatore, and the other refs of the 2006 NBA Finals- Wade shot 96 free throws in that series...which is re-dunk-ulous.



Next: People who I am loving right now, members of the Luv Luv Luv club:

~Randy Galloway- because I agree with everything he says...everything. How Bennett Salvatore is a dick, how Dwayne Wade showed no leadership when he was just sitting on the bench crying after he injured his shoulder and how he was a diva to demanded a wheel chair to get back to the locker room. Luv Luv Luv Randy!

~D J Mbenga- just when he was starting to get some real play time, he tears his ACL, putting him out for the season and leaving us one player down. If there was ever a player who did not deserve to get injured that badly, it's DJ. He's from the Congo, but he's so upbeat and friendly. Luv Lub Luv DJ!

~Dirk Nowitzki- It would take me days to explain, he is just an amazing player, captain, and all-around good person. He's a 7' that takes jump shots, and he has been flirting with a triple-double all season (no, that is not code for a woman...a triple-double is when you get double didget points, rebounds, and assists). And he currently has the same number of double-doubles this season that he had all of last season. And he started at the NBA All-Star game this year, the first Dallas Maverick to do so. And he loves the kids...like I said, it would take me days to explain this. Luv Luv Luv Dirk.

Which reminds me, add Antoine Walker to my "Sit-Down and Shut-Up" Club, because he flagrantly hit Dirk in the face in the game last Thursday...but he got ejected from the game, which made me giggle.

But Alex is breathing down my neck to finish, so I will finish my Luv Luv Luv Club list later...

I'm Bringing blonde Back...

So, I dyed my hair (again). I changed it back to blonde. Why? Because I could not handle being a brunette. It's hard ya'll!! I have a new found respect for brunettes. When I had brown hair, I just completely let myself go. All I wore was jeans or sweats and Uggs. Plus, let's be honest, my hair looked pretty bad. It was like the blonde was rejecting the brown. In conclusion, I'm a blonde through and through. But I do feel that every blonde should be a brunette for a trial period because 1) I think every blonde needs to experience life as a brunette and 2) some blondes look better with brown hair. I can't really describe how life was different as a brunette, but I can say it was. It's just good to be back to blonde.

I'm Bringing waffles Back...

I know I haven't written in several days. I know at least one person (Alex) is very upset about it. You see, I've been in Lubbock since Friday visiting Kristin/ taking one last look at Texas Tech before I go and visit KU and make my college decision. I will give Lubbock this: It is flat...very, very flat. But it was good to see Kristin and her friends there. They're fun kids.

Anyway, I found a great facebook group that pretty much sums up my philosophy on the difference between men and women...with food: Boys have waffles for brains:

"Allow me to explain, boys are simple-minded. Their brains are waffles; where everything, (every event, person, activity in their life) is kept completely separate and unrelated in its own compartment. Girls have spaghetti brains. Everything is connected, related and tangled up.

For example:

Sally left Joe a facebook comment. Joe did not return the comment. Sally is distressed and worried. She thinks, "What if Joe thinks I'm weird. What if he's not responding because he thinks I'm weird?! What if my comment was too long?! What if my comment was lame?! Oh no, Joe will never hang out with me again. I'm NEVER GOING TO GET MARRIED!!!!!"

Joe sees Sally's silly, but humorous comment. He thinks hmm, that's nice. He then shuts his computer down and doesn't think another thing about it. He likes Sally; she's a nice gal. Who wouldn't? It's Sally! The next day he sees Sally, who seems nervous and unsure of herself. He wonders at the seemingly random change in attitude and thinks, "Hmm, I wonder what's going on with Sally. Mmmmm, this philly cheesesteak is REALLY good. I like Philly Cheesesteaks."

Obviously, Sally is still distraught and paranoid. Whereas Joe is enjoying a nice Philly Cheesesteak, completely oblivious to his own facebooking powers. Moreover, Joe knows that he likes Sally, almost as much as he likes Philly Cheesesteak."

I think this might be the most truthiness statement I have ever seen on facebook. I have to tell you honestly, a couple of weeks ago, I was such a Sally. But now, I'm trying to keep in mind that boys have waffles for brains...and they don't realize that girls overthink things a lot...or at least they don't think about it. But I've lately been trying not to be a Sally...which is considerably easier when you don't have a special boy in your life. I forgot how relaxing it is when I stop stressing out about not having a boyfriend and just let it go. IT IS FREAKING AMAZING!! I'm loving being single right now. Sure, not having someone to make out is a pain in the ass sometimes, but when your friends have all this boy drama going on and you can just step back and thank God that you don't have that...it's nice. Plus, I have so much more time to focus on more worth while tasks, like my photography.

I've got a new goal: I want to put out a coffee table book. It's going to be all photos taken around Dallas, some color, others black and white. It's a nice project for me. It's a good creative outlet and it lets me clear my head, besides I love it anyway. Here's a photo sample of something I took today:

I'm Bringing Oprah Back...

It's here, the thing that single people fear above all else: THE BIG V......

Valentine's Day of course, an awful day for us single people. It actually wasn't that bad this year. I didn't really care. I guess it's because all of my friends here are either a) single as well or b) have a boyfriend who lives somewhere other than here.

I realized something today: I feel frumpy. I mean, I was wearing my skinny jeans, uggs, my "Six and the City" t-shirt, my Pink Pony half-zip pullover, my northface jacket, leather gloves, and my mom's Burberry scarf. So by the quality of my clothing, you would not think frump. The weird thing is that I really didn't care that I looked frumpy. It's the dead of winter for God sakes. If I cared enough, I would dress up for class and freeze my ass off in the process. So, looking ahead to my upcoming move to either Lubbock, Texas or Lawrence, Kansas, I have gone on a quest for a cute yet incredibly warm coat. I'm looking for one with a fur trimmed hood. Oh ya, and it can't be super shiny nylon material. A little shine wouldn't bother me that much, but not crazy shiny. Any suggestions on where I could find such a coat?

As I walk to class, I people watch. I listen to my iPod mini (which to my archaeology lab's suprise is gold), and I examine the clothing of the people walking around campus. Many are like me: frumpy, but warm. But then there are other girls who you wonder how they could possibly not be getting frostbite as they walk to class. Seriously, I saw a girl walking around in nothing but a sorority jersey, cotton tights, and uggs...the high today was 36. How was she not freezing??? Another example: Last night was FIJI's (Phi Gamma Delta frat) Burning Heart's valentines party. So the girls across the hall are pre-gaming (trust me, I could hear them from my room very clearly...God I sound like a prude). I walk out in the hall in my sweats and I see this girl in this tiny red piece of fabric that would not even cover my ass and no coat. The low last night was 29. She was going to freeze her ass off, all in the name of looking like a huge whore. WHY, GOD, WHY?????

Ya, I know it's Valentine's day and I am the queen of bitter, so everyone was expecting some really bitter rant about how I don't have a boyfriend and I'm all alone and I'm going to die alone with a lot of cats. Well, I've learned The Secret: If you have a positive outlook on life, positive things will happen to you. If you have a negative outlook, then negative things will happen. So, thank you Oprah. I'm going to try and be more positive.

Another tidbit from Oprah: on her Valentine's day show, she had the sweetest love stories (I cried...twice...and that is saying something), but the sweetest story was about Owen and Mzee: Owen is a baby hippo, Mzee is a 130 year old tortoise. Owen became separated from his family by a tsunami on the coast of Kenya. He was later hearded into a wildlife sanctuary where he sought a new mother figure where he picked Mzee, a freaking old tortoise that had been described as a loner before she adopted Owen. Two years later, the two are still inseperable. They are so inseperable that the wildlife preserve workers where afraid that Owen was acting too much like a tortoise. So they introduced another hippo, Cleo, into their space. But Owen is continuing to act like a tortoise. That story alone restored my faith in true love...and the story about the Sudanese refugees...

I'm Bringing bridges Back...

Here's the story of my friends Alex and Justin: They have known each other since the 3rd grade. In the 9th grade, Alex had a huge crush on him...feelings he didn't return for her. Eventually, Alex got over it and ended up becoming incredibly close with him. By the senior year of high school, it was Alex'n'Justin...or Jalex...or Alstin...whatever you prefer...personally, I like Jalex the most. They were unpenitrable. Then, for some reason or another, they were no longer Jalex...or Alstin. Alex would later say it was because Justin started acting like a dick... or if you prefer "deck" (if you don't get that reference, just ignore it). Justin would plea that he just wanted to spend more time with his other friends. He was a pretty popular guy. Graduation passed, summer came and went, and all of a sudden it was the middle of our first semester of our first year of college. I guess it was here when Alex and Justin reconnected. By the time that second semester started, they were back to being Jalex, but in different states.

What caused them to rebuild the bridge that had been burned? Hell if I know. But it is nice to see Jalex again. But what made them realize that there was still something there? Why do we rebuild bridged that we ourselves have already burned?

Then, take my friend Katy and me. We were inseperable from pre-K until 2nd grade when she left the Saint Michael School for Christ the King. Even though CKS was just right across the street from SMS, we grew more and more apart. Sure, we would still have the occasional play-date, but we both found new best friends (honestly, I never could find someone to replace her until the 5th grade). We both changed: she became sporty and earthy, I became girly and preppy. She became Janis Joplin, I became Jessica Simpson (who I hate). I became Elle Woods, she became....someone who's not like Elle Woods. Thank God for college...I think I finally have shaken most of the Jessica Woods out of me. C'mon...do either of those girls know what's going on in sports? Drink beer/hard liquor? Know that "Chicken of the Sea" is, in fact, tuna? Ya, I didn't think so. How do I know that I'm not the prissy little thing I used to be? Katy and I got together over winter break...and talked. Like really talked, like we were friends again. And now? I'm going to visit her at KU in about 3 weeks (well, I'm going to look at the school too), and I could not be more excited!! Looking at us now, we really aren't that different. Sure, she doesn't know what foundation is and, alright, I'm still a little boy-crazy, but there is a lot we can learn from each other. I can learn to chillax, she can learn how to contour properly (no matter how much of the girly-girl I shake, I will NEVER give up my makeup).

This is how I see it: every person is like a city with a ton of bridges and roads and such connecting to other cities. These cities frequently trade with each other, join during wars with other cities, support each other when times are hard. Of course, sometimes cities may go to war and burn the bridges that once connected them. But sometimes, these bridges can be rebuilt and the cities may trade once more.

So, why do we rebuild bridges? So we can get back someone we deeply miss. So we can learn something. But, most importantly, so we can face the hard times together and have someone for support.

I'm Bringing MY FINISHED TEXAS TECH ESSAY Back...

FINISHED!!! Horatio, and some well-placed basketball quotes, and Alex helped me ;-) Thanks

Coach Bobby Knight once said, “You don't play against opponents. You play against the game of basketball.” I do not only believe this to be true in the game of basketball; I feel that this holds true in the game of life. To me, my life and basketball have a lot of similarities. My teammates and coaches are my family and friends. My parents are my head coaches: they taught me the fundamentals of the game and I am still learning things from them, and they are a major support system. My friends are my teammates: they are whom I play the game with, and my team is constantly acquiring new players and, unfortunately, losing others. All the players have their own special skills and talents. For me, those are singing, acting, and photography. Earlier this year, I had a hard time figuring out how I fit into this game. In the words of Scottie Pippen, “Sometimes a player’s greatest challenge is coming to grips with his role on the team.” All players go through it at one point or another. It could be brought on by a new acquisition or, as in my case, being signed by a new team. I had a really hard time adjusting to SMU, and when push came to shove, I decided to leave. Not because I had a conflict with a fellow player, but because my heart was no longer in the game; a thing that is necessary to play well. Because I was not all in the game, I was losing. So I took the advice of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: “I try to do the right thing at the right time. They may just be little things, but usually they make the difference between winning and losing.” I figured out that SMU was not the right thing for me, at least not now. I needed a change of scenery and a place where I could focus. “Basketball is like photography,” Dan Frisby once said, “If you don’t focus, all you have is the negative.” As an award-winning photographer myself, I took to heart what he was saying. I needed to focus, but what did I want to focus on? There was my singing and acting, my photography, my love of travel, my love of law sparked by shows such as Law and Order. It was not until I was sitting in the American Airlines Center watching the Dallas Mavericks play the Memphis Grizzlies that my fog finally cleared and it all came into focus: I wanted to work behind the scenes for a sports team. I come from a sports family (my grandfather played for the New York Giants and was a talent scout for several pro teams and my father had gone to college on a basketball scholarship), I had grown up around sports, some of my favorite memories had come from managing my school’s women’s basketball and men’s lacrosse teams in high school, I could travel all around the country. I had been astonished that I had not thought of it before. I had finally found my “role on the team”.

I'm Bringing Horatio Back...

I officially have a valentine. His name is Horatio and he has very light blonde hair and brown eyes...so what if he is a teddy bear from Brookstone (the most entertaining store ever!!).

Does anyone have some suggestion for my Texas Tech transfer essay?? Here's the assignment:

What additional personal information do you wish to be considered in the decision to admit you? For example:
exceptional hardship, setback or personal experience that has shaped your abilities or academic credentials
personal responsibilities
exceptional achievements or special talents such as poetry, art, bilingual proficiency, etc.
educational goals and choice of major
ways you contribute to the commitment that the university has made to create an institution with a diverse learning environment

Don't you agree that's hard??? The best thing I have is how life is like basketball...maybe a good quote from Bobby Knight?? I have writers block...I'm going to bed.

I'm Bringing music Back...

I've decided to bring back my little "listening to" thing on my blog...because I miss it.

So my roommate's boyfriend was visiting this weekend. Really nice guy, really funny. They are so cute together. It almost makes me want to be in a relationship...almost.

I'm beginning to realize that there are definate upsides to being single. Here's are all of them in list form:
1) You can save your money; you don't have to buy nice birthday/holiday gifts!!
2) You have a lot of time to spend on you. You don't have to talk to anybody (either on the phone or in person).
3) You don't get in stupid fights...another time-saver.
4) You don't have to think about them and overanalyze their actions in your spare time.
5) Your cell phone bill is lower because your not talking/texting with them all the time.
6) You can do whatever you want to do without hearing someone else's opinion.
7) You have time to hang out with your girlfriends.
8) You don't have to share the liquor!!
9) You can hook up with whoever you want (this is one that I'm not taking advantage of).
I'm sure there's more and I pledge to find all of them...

That's right: I AM SINGLE...AND PROUD!!! Because being single is not that bad really. I'm actually kind of enjoying it. Honestly, I have no idea what caused this change in opinion, but I don't really mind.

Listening to: "You Know I'm No Good" - Amy Winehouse. "You Give Me Something" - James Morrison

I'm Bringing prudence Back...

So I went to see Catch and Release. The verdict: stupid movie. Grey should have totally gone for Dennis, not Fritz...who names their kid Fritz???

But enough about that damn Fritz, onto more important things...like Conan O'Brien. Here's the story: I had a really good topic for today's blog. It really was genius. So I get my laptop out, log onto blogger.com, and then turn the TV on to NBC, where I find Conan O'Brien. Confession: I have a huge crush on Conan. Sure, he may not be attractive, but he is awkward and hilarious and I love him just the way he is. Plus he's tall, which is a huge thing for me. But what does Conan make me do? He makes me completely forget what I was itching to write about. That is Conan's curse I guess: he makes everyone's thoughts turn into thoughts of him. So I was telling Alex about my dilemma, and she came up with this: "That is the fundamental difference between men and women. because conan is awkward and hilarious, we don't overlook his unattractiveness, we actually believe he is attractive. Boys can't do that." True, if Conan O'Brien was just a normal guy walking down the street, I would not do a double take and want to have his hilarious, pompadour-haired babies. But because I know his personality (or at least his TV persona) I have a school-girl crush on him. But for all women, we don't write off unattractive men right away: we always think that even though a guy might not be a George Clooney look-alike doesn't mean that they may not have a great personality, a personality that may make this unattractive guy a good friend. Besides, women want a guy they can talk to and have a substantial relationship with. A guy is not a trophy for us. Have you ever heard the phrase "trophy-husband"? Ya, I didn't think so.

Men, however, concentrate on the asthetics. They want a woman with a gorgeous face, big boobs, and a perfect body...something that they can take to fancy restraunts and show off. They don't need the conversation that women do. Men want their trophy, the trophy that says to them, "Hey, I am so macho-man-ish that I got this beautiful woman to go out with me." Who cares if she has a brain the size of a bottle cap so long as she is beautiful. She doesn't have to say anything; all she has to do is sit there and pose. But this poor girl thinks that she is getting the substantial relationship that is built on conversation. The man is getting a trophy. This is why you don't see ugly women having guy friends; guys do not care about you unless your attractive. So Harry (from When Harry Met Sally) is right: all your guy friends want to sleep with you.

I'm bringing horny Back...

It is officially 1 week from the Big V...Valentine's Day (dumdumdum).

You are either a) completely and totally extatic because you have someone who you deeply care about to spend it with, b) could not care less because you are too cool and think that it is just an overly commercialized excuse to spend money, or c) completely dreading it because everyone around you has someone to spend it with but you and you plan on spending the day locked up in your room with Sex and the City DVD's and a huge tub of ice cream and/or lots and lots of liquor. I choose c...except I will replace that tub of ice cream with more liquor, but probably not because I love any excuse to eat a ton of ice cream. Plus alcohol is a depressant, so I will just end up feeling worse about the whole "alone" thing. Besides, it's illegal, and I wouldn't want to condone anything illegal ;-)

Anywho, tonight I went to my first mixer...at Metro. Really cool place; kind of lame party. But it did introduce me to the whole bar scene, and what it takes to get noticed by men. From this experience, I have put together this equasion:

1 Revealing Dress + >4 alcoholic beverages = Making out with some random guy

Alright, I've tried this, and I didn't get anywhere with it. Flashback to the Kappa Sig Heaven N' Hell party in October. I was wearing a man's shirt, boxers, and black patten-leather pumps (which I love). More importantly, I was wasted...really really wasted. I was dancing on the house's fireplace. I was schnockered. Any guy could have at least made out with me, ANY GUY. But no, before I got too wasted, nobody tried to get with me. That huge hit to my ego caused me to drink even more, and eventually...I got too drunk. We will just leave it at that.

Moral of that story: Ya'll ugly guys missed your chance. I was very mentally, not to mention visually, impared that night, but nobody took advantage of me. And now? I really don't want to get with you ugly, short guys. After that night, I will never get that drunk again (because I know better now than to mix sports drinks with hard liquor)...or at least I will not be that drunk in the forseeable future. So sorry, ya'll missed your chance. The boat has gone...it's sailing away....

Ok, it might be coming back. But only because Valentine's day is in one week, and I need someone to buy me some hard liquor.

I'm Bringing my future Back....

So a funny thing happened to me the other day...
My parents said that I could go anywhere I wanted for college...and major in anything I wanted to. After they said this, I started to laugh. They did not. I thought they were kidding. They weren't. Typical, now they let me have my freedom, now that I have no idea what I want to do. Well, it's not so much that I don't know what I want to do, it's actually that I want to do so many things that I don't know what to concentrate on. I want to do fashion, writing, photography, physical anthropology, music, spelunking...the list goes on and on. Ya, there is the part of me that wants the "normal career" with the office hours and the "paperwork" and "catering to people", but another part of me is still connnected to music and acting. And with my new found freedom, I have the freedom to pursue that now. My mother even suggested calling Kevin (my voice coach) again if I wanted to. I'm over here thinking, "Where the freak were you last year when I wanted to go to Syracuse and I needed your support?" Honestly, music is something I would love to do, something I could really give 110% to. And if I had a successful carreer in that, I could pull a Jessica-Beyonce-Jenn'Pez-Simpson and cross over into acting. Or I could attempt to do what I have been trying to do for 3 years and FINALLY write that screenplay that I have been trying to get down on paper, win an academy award, write tons of best-selling books about being bitter , followed by a stand-up tour about being bitter and be alone until the day I die and then be found 2 weeks later with my face eaten by wild dogs. Or I could just go to KU/Tech and get my Bachelor's in anthropology and teach, then eventually go to grad school and get my masters in physical anthropologie and go study bones. Or I could graduate from college, go work for Neiman Marcus for two years, find a man, get my MRS, become a housewife, get divorces and a huge settlement and date inappropriate younger men until I die because of a freak-plastic surgory mishap. Or I could go to law school, become a district attorney or a judge, get married, keep my carreer, have a family, relocate to DC and become a supreme court justice and serve until the day I die.

Back to my main purpose: do I pursue my dream of singing (a dream that I have had longer than I would like to admit), realize I cannot sing or act, quit music forever, get my degree and have a normal job, work, and die, or do I cut my losses and go ahead doing the sensible thing and get my degree, get a job, work, and die?

I'm Bringing comments Back...

So I'm an idiot...I set up this account yesturday because blog.com is awful and I wanted to switch back to blogger.com. So I set up this account, right, but I didn't verify my email address, so it wouldn't let me log in. Needless to say, I figured that out...after I had already started posting on blog.com. So I will be using striclty this one from now on, so don't go to blog.com Chronicles of Freshmanland...because let's face it: I got a little off-topic. Anyway, here is the post I put up there yesturday...for anyone who is interested...which probably isn't many...

I'm Bringing Bitter Back (YUP)

Hello devoted readers...ok, reader. I would like to say that I have been sooooo busy the last few months that I haven't had the time to blog, but that would be lying. I really don't know why I stopped. To be perfectly honest, the most exciting thing that has happened to me lately was getting my teeth whitening trays. My friends, I think I am in what you would call a "slump". No Alex, not "frump". Althought the 2 do seem to go hand in hand. I always know when I am in a slump because my subconscious will remind me through my dreams. The minute I am not obsessing over some guy, my subconscious comes around and reminds me of my past mistakes. This time, It was Tommy. I was horrible when it came to Tommy. The only reason I didn't date him was because I thought he was "too young". And of course, I realize that we would have been great together when it is too late, which is all too typical. That's the worst part about mistakes: they come back to haunt you. It has been 7 months and 4 days since I last hooked up with a guy...and, frankly, I'm going nuts. All my friends seem to be getting some, but not me. And, the fact is, I don't just want "some". What I really want is a relationship. Even thought the timing is bad seeing as I'm moving either to Lubbock, Texas or Lawrence, Kansas to go to school next year. I just need a little something to get me through the rest of the school year so when my lovely roommate talks on her phone with her boyfriend, or when the whole hall has their boyfriends come and attend their victory parties, I don't feel utterly alone. But tomorow is the beginning of the new me: I am going to be more like a man. But not in the "I prefer women over men" way. I'm not that desparate...yet. I'm going to stop obsessing, I'm going to look before I leap, and, most importantly, I am not going to dream up feelings that aren't there. I am going to take in the world as it is, not as I hope it will be. The awful truth is us ladies could learn a lot from men. They don't bitch, they are straight-shooters. They don't do the whole "hidden meaning" thing. They just live the way they want to. So, I'm going to try it, just to see what it's all about. But if I start beltching and putting my hand down my pants after a meal, please someone save me and bring me back from the dark side. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and remove my whitening trays...

I'm Brining blogging Back...

so my therapist (aka alex) told me to start blogging again, so here I am. Maybe this will be good for me. I can work out all of my grievences with the world, get my thoughts out there. So here you go.

So, what should I write about???