I'm Bringing Dallas Back...

Just because you know I have to talk about it: Dallas Mavericks losing...to Golden State Warriors...in the first round of the playoffs...when we were expected to win it all. Ya, I don't know if this situation could sound any worse. Oh ya, and Golden State is probably not even going to make it out of the next round, so it was all for naught.

I've got one word for you: Nellie. This is Don Nelson's great revenge on Mark Cuban. It's like he's saying, "Hey Cuban, you still owe me $6 Million. Oh, you refuse to pay? Then I will just use my powers for evil and destroy your team's moral...and then go drink some scotch and puff a cigar with my fugly dog. HA!! Suck on that Cuban!"

Does anyone fail to notice that we could have avoided this problem all together? We could have knocked out the Warriors in the regular season. Ya, that game that Avery Johnson decided to rest all of the starters so that they would be healthy for the playoffs. That is just cruel irony right there.

So today starts the reprocussions of this heartbreaking loss. I hate days like today. Everyone gets way to emotionally caught up in the game and is all angry and frustrated. People are pissed off...devistated...a couple had to flee in the night from their bookies because the Mavericks winning the playoffs was a "safe bet". But if I had a quarter for every time that someone predicted the Mavericks as a "safe bet"...

I hate when people are mad about lost sports games. I mean ya. this sucks, and yes, I was angry, and yes, we did kind of let the Warriors kick our ass, but I'm not angry anymore. What I'm concentrating on now is getting better. There is no point in STILL being pissed at the Mavs; they need their fans more than ever now. These are actually the kinds of situations that define real fans because real fans stick by their teams whether they are winning or losing, AND I AM STICKING BY THE MAVS!!

While trying to figure out what exactly happened, I came across an amazing article by my idol, Bill Simmons (writer for ESPN.com...page 2, who I always agree with...him and Randy Galloway...today will be an interesting show on GAC...more to come on that). Anyway, it's titled "The 13 Levels of Losing," and it is genius. Here are the levels:

"Level XIII: The Princeton Principle
Definition: When a Cinderella team hangs tough against a heavy favorite, but the favorite somehow prevails in the end (like Princeton almost toppling Georgetown in the '89 NCAAs) ... this one stings because you had low expectations, but those gritty underdogs raised your hopes ... also works for boxing, especially in situations like Balboa-Creed I ("He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!") ... the moment that always sucks you in: in college hoops, when they show shots of the bench scrubs leaping up and down and hugging each other during the "These guys won't go away!" portion of the game, before the collapse at the end...

"Level XII: The Achilles' Heel
Definition: This defeat transcends the actual game, because it revealed something larger about your team, a fatal flaw exposed for everyone to see ... flare guns are fired, red flags are raised, doubt seeps into your team ... usually the beginning of the end (you don't fully comprehend this until you're reflecting back on it)...

"Level XI: The Alpha Dog
Definition: It might have been a devastating loss, but at least you could take solace that a superior player made the difference in the end ... unfortunately, he wasn't playing for your team ... you feel more helpless here than anything ... for further reference, see any of MJ's games in the Finals against Utah ('97 and '98)

"Level X: The Rabbit's Foot
Definition: Now we're starting to get into "Outright Painful" territory ... this applies to those frustrating games and/or series where every single break seemingly goes against your team ... unbelievably frustrating ... you know that sinking, "Oh, God, I've been here before" feeling when something unfortunate happens, when your guard immediately goes shooting up? ... yeah ... I'm wincing just writing about it

"Level IX: The Sudden Death
Definition: Is there another fan experience quite like overtime hockey, when every slap shot, breakaway and centering pass might spell doom, and losing feels 10 times worse than winning feels good (if that makes sense)? ... there's only one mitigating factor: when OT periods start piling up and you lose the capacity to care anymore; invariably you start rooting for the game to just end, just so you don't suffer a heart attack ... bonus points because one of these happened last night: Colorado's game-winning OT goal against Detroit.

"Level VIII: Dead Man Walking
Definition: Applies to any playoff series when your team remains "alive," but they just suffered a loss so catastrophic and so harrowing that there's no possible way they can bounce back ... especially disheartening because you wave the white flag mentally, but there's a tiny part of you still holding out hope for a miraculous momentum change ... so you've given up, but you're still getting hurt, if that makes sense ... just for the record, I thought this would apply to the Nets after their Game 3 collapse (I couldn't have been more wrong)

"Level VII: The Monkey Wrench
Definition: Any situation where either A) the manager/coach of your team made an idiotic game decision, or B) a referee/umpire robbed your team of impending victory ... the Monkey Wrench game gains steam as the days and months roll along ... the Patriots and Raiders deserve special mention here because they played two Monkey Wrench games 26 years apart -- the '76 Playoff Game (where Ben Dreith's dubious "roughing the passer" call on "Sugar Bear" Hamilton gave the Raiders second life), and this January's Snow Game (the Brady fumble/non-fumble) ... funny how life works out.

"Level VI: The Full-Fledged Butt-Kicking
Definition: Sometimes you can tell right away when it isn't your team's day ... and that's the worst part, not just the epiphany but everything that follows -- every botched play, every turnover, every instance where someone on your team quits, every "deer in the headlights" look, every time an announcer says, "They can't get anything going," every shot of the opponents celebrating, every time you look at the score and think to yourself, "Well, if we score here and force a turnover, maybe we'll get some momentum," but you know it's not going to happen, because you're already 30 points down ... you just want it to end, and it won't end ... but you can't look away ... it's the sports fan's equivalent to a three-hour torture session

"Level V: The "This Can't Be Happening" Game
The sibling of the Full-Fledged Butt-Kicking ... you're supposed to win, you expect to win, the game is a mere formality ... suddenly your team falls behind, your opponents are fired up, the clock is ticking and it dawns on you for the first time, "Oh my God, this can't be happening."

"Level IV: The Broken Axle
Definition: When the wheels come flying off in a big game, leading to a complete collapse down the stretch ... this one works best for basketball, like Game 3 of the Celtics-Nets series this year, or Game 7 of the Blazers-Lakers series in 2000 ... you know when it's happening because A) the home crowd pushes their team to another level, and B) the team that's collapsing becomes afflicted with Deer-In-The-Headlitis ... it's always fascinating to see how teams bounce back from the Broken Axle Game ... by the way, nobody has been involved in more Broken Axle games than Rick Adelman

"Level III: The Guillotine
Definition: This one combines the devastation of the Broken Axle game with sweeping bitterness and hostility ... your team's hanging tough (hell, they might even be winning), but you can feel the inevitable breakdown coming, and you keep waiting for the guillotine to drop, and you just know it's coming -- you know it -- and when it finally comes, you're angry that it happened and you're angry at yourself for contributing to the debilitating karma ... these are the games when people end up whipping their remote controls against a wall or breaking their hands while pounding a coffee table ... too many of these and you'll end up in prison

"Level II: The Stomach Punch
Definition: Now we've moved into rarefied territory, any roller-coaster game that ends with A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play, or B) one of your guys failing in the clutch ... usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all ... always haunting, sometimes scarring ... there are degrees to the Stomach Punch Game, depending on the situation ... for instance, Sunday's Kings-Lakers game and Monday's Celts-Nets game featured agonizing endings, but they weren't nearly as agonizing as Cleveland's Earnest Byner fumbling against Denver when he was about two yards and 0.2 seconds away from sending the Browns to the Super Bowl).

"Level I: That Game
Definition: Game 6 of the 1986 World Series ... one of a kind ... given the circumstances and the history involved here, maybe the most catastrophic sports loss of our lifetime."

When classifying Game 6 (the name under which it will not be infamously known to all Mavericks fans...ever), the first instinct is to put it under Level 1: That Game. C'Mon, this wasn't THAT game, far from it. It just seems like it now because the wound is fresh. Don't be so melodramatic, for gosh sakes! This could be considered a Level VII: the Achilles Heal, our fatal flaw being that Old Nellie used to be our head coach and knows how to beat us...but I think everyone knew that because GS has beaten us 8 our of our last 9 regular season meetings. I would classify Game 6 most closely as Level VI: The Full-Fledged Butt-Kicking. The Mavericks seem to always get that "Deer-in-the-headlight" look in pressure situations **cough**Finals '06 against Miami**cought**. And now, we did it again. Yes, Coach Johnson does need to work on getting our weaknesses under control, but he also needs to find a way to get his players to unwind a little, a way for them to find the momentum they need even when they are playing a sink-or-swim away game with fans like the ones in GS **cough**crazy**cough**.

Actually, I must commend the GS fans. The entire game, everyone was on their feet yelling and cheering. When you go to a Mavs home game and look at the fans in the 100-200 section...they're just sitting there (unless the score is really close in a clutch situation). While watching Game 5 the other night, they showed all the NDBP: the North Dallas Beautiful People, the people who are just there because they can AFFORD to be there. They are their to be seen in their season seats at the AAC, all the bleach-blonde women in their David Yurman jewelry, talking on their Blackberry cell phones. How do you even talk on your cell phone at any basketball game??? And the men are all in buisness suits talking...buisness. Here's a hint: deals are made on the golf course, not at the AAC. Not only should you be cheering on your team, but the noise level could lead to some money miscommunication...so really, you would be saving yourself a lot of money. I'm not saying that all 100-200 people are like this, its just the NDBP that are.

The 300 section is the only way to go. The fans up their are not there to "be seen"; they are there to be HEARD!! They are into the entire game. Even the people who are in the last row and can't see very well are into it. The best thing about sitting up there is that you can yell as loud as you want and nobody will give you a "shut the hell up, I'm making a buisness merger/having a conversation about my life on my freaking cell phone" look. The 300 people won't shut you up because they are yelling as loud as you are. You're giving them hugs when your team is doing well. You're participating in the "BULL SHIT" chant with them when your team got called by the refs. You are really sharing in an experience with the 300. I LOVE THE 300 BECAUSE THEY ARE THE REAL FANS!!! They understand that the game is about the game, not about themselves being seen there. Their about the team and being there to support them and being there for them, win or lose. Maybe, if the NDBP had cheered more in Game 1...nope, I'm not going to stoop to that level. I will embrace my fellow fans...even though I am the biggest fan...and I rule all. FACE.

P.S. Dirk: shooting 2/13 in the entire game:: Tony Romo: fumbling the snap on the kick in the Cowboys run at the playoffs. CAN'T YOU SEE THE COMPARISON?? The sad thing is until next season starts, nobody is going to remember all of Dirk's double-doubles or his 24 point shooting percentage; everyone is only going to talk about how he fell flat (or, dare I say it, choked?) in the playoffs...kind of like Romo funbling that ball. Nobody remembers all the balls he did catch; they only remember that fumble.

HeHe...balls.