I'm Bringing Cruelty Back...

Well, I'm not bringing it back, but this writer from the Kansas City Star sure did, a piece entitled "Dirk Chokes, and he's Holding Dallas Back". David Boyce was just mean...really mean.

OK, as one of Dirk's greatest supporters, I am a little biased and always eager to run to the aid of my favorite player. But I think this article would make a lot of the Dirk Bandwagon Jumpers who denied knowing his name and owning his jersey in all 3 Mavs colors after the Game 6 humiliation to jump back on the Wunderkind-mobile. Probably the most cruel thing in the entire article was this:

"But as long as Nowitzki is the go-to player, the only place the Mavericks will finish is the land of postseason chokers, where Nowitzki is president."

OK Boyce, you just crossed a line. Sure, maybe Dallas' precious Dirk did choke, but there is no reason to get all nasty about it. I know you feel bad because you predicted Dallas to win it all like everyone did. Everyone was so eager to jump on the Dallas Bandwagon during our 4 double-didget winning streaks. I know you are pissed at yourself for being just another face in the masses who followed the Dallas light and who were disappointed in the end. But there is no reason to take your anger out on one person when basketball is a team sport. Need I remind you that there is no "I" in "TEAM", but there is an "I" in "DIRK"...but that doesn't make much sense...

Back to my point, if we're going to play the blame game, we cannot blame one player for the performance of an entire team, complete with coaching staff. I hate to use words like "blame" and "fault", but it wasn't all Dirk's fault. His performance was not the only one lacking luster during this playoff series. Sure, if he would have gotten his act together, Dallas probably would have done a lot better (i.e. won the series like they were supposed to). But I think Nowitzki obviously knows that he sucked (for lack of a better word). The series is over, Game 6 is in the past, and constantly saying things like, "Nowitzki choked" is not going to reverse time and make Dallas advance to the 2nd round. The only thing that we can do with this situation is learn from it, go back and analyze the stats, look at the game footage, and prepare for the future. And giving Dirk titles like "President of the Land of Postseason Chokers" is not going to magically turn him into a magnificent cluch player.

On that note, I think it's important to point out that basketball players are human (even though most are freakishly tall and have crazy-mad skills): they have emotions and they make mistakes. There is no such thing as perfection, not even in the game of basketball. Sorry to break it to you.

And need I remind you Boyce that Kansas City doesn't even have an NBA team? Ya, that's right. And the Chiefs had a worse record than the Cowboys this year...and that's saying something with as many balls as T.O. dropped this season, but don't even get me started on T.O., because T.O. is on my list...

So now I have to explain my list, my list of people I don't personally care for. Some are becuase they suck as athletes, others because they suck as human beings:

1) Terrell Owens: for obvious reasons. He is actually the only person on my list that sucks at being both an athlete AND a human being. Congratulations for being the most worthless person on the planet. And the children's book "T.O. Learns to Share" only gives him more reason to be on my List.

2) A couple of kids who I went to school with who will go unnamed: ya they are just horrible human beings (Don't worry, if you're reading this, chances are you are not one of them).

3) Pat Riley: he looks like the evil emporer from Star Wars, after he gets electricuted. Does nobody else see that? I seriously get really scared every time they show a close up of him on tv...nope, actually I have a constant fear of Pat Riley, just afraid he's going to come and kill me in my sleep for comparing him to the evil electrocuted emporer from Star Wars.

4) Dwayne Wade: not only is he on my List, but he is also the president of the Sit Down and Shut Up club (with Marc Cuban being the treasurer and the newly-elected David Boyce as the vice-president, for reasons stated above). Ya, after winning the 2006 NBA title, he goes and critiques Nowitzki, saying that he's not a good leader and crap like that. Hey Wade, you got the trophy...you can shut up now. And then he seriously hurt his shoulder and pulled a James Brown with that towel and the wheelchair, and then got made fun of by crying like a little girl, and then his team got swept by the Chicago Bulls in the first round, so I think that shut him up...for a minute.

*Note* anyone who says anything negative and not constructive about any of the Dallas Mavericks is automatically inducted into the Sit Down and Shut Up Club.

5) Shaquile O'Neal (there seems to be a pattern with Miami Heat people): he just has an attitude, and for a guy with his free throw shooting percentage, he need not have one. He is also a paying member of the Sit Down and Shut Up Club.

6) Antoine Walker: another Miami Heat player. Honestly, I just don't like his face. He looks (and acts) like a big baby.

7) Marion Barbosa: picture it: 2006, Conference Finals, he called Dirk a not-so-nice word and gave him a not-so-nice hand gesture to go along with that word. One of the few times I've ever seen Nowitzki almost get in a fight. Barbosa was called for the T (at least I think it was Barbosa, it might have been Stoudemire...oh well, throw them both on the list, and into the Sit Down and Shut Up Club...even though I think that T did the trick, and that 50-point game that Dirk had).

8) George Bush: yes he started the Iraq War (big mistake), but when the Miami Heat presented him with the game ball from the Finals last year, he tried to dribble it...and failed. Ya, real smooth there Bush.

On a happier note, Round 2 is officially up and running. Spurs vs. Suns today...what a game! As my friend Daniel pointed out, they are literally trying to kill each other. Here's what happened: Steve Nash's nose has a pretty unfortunate collision with Tony Parker's face, resulting in Tony Parker almost being knocked unconcious and Nash getting a really bad cut on his nose. Because the cut wouldn't stop bleeding, he had to sit out with about 2 minutes left in the fourth, allowing the Spurs to win the game.

With any luck, Boyce will run into Tony Parker's forehead and end up with a bloody nose.